Consience

Holiday Michael Noose's face lost all color. Two out of the three video tapes he had kept in the safe had vanished.

Mike, as Holiday Michael liked to be called, asked his wife Gretchen, if she knew where they had gone to. She was the only other person, who had access to the safe. "You remember that private investigator, asking about your and your brother Fin's childhood?" "Yes." Mike replied to Gretchen's question. “He told us when we remembered anything we should contact him. I’ve never seen the tapes. I only found them recently because I knocked them over, when I was looking for my jewelry box. I was curious and watched it. I thought it could be important for Mr. Otto, so I contacted him and he promised to return the tapes as soon as he has made copies.” Mike felt his blood pressure rising. Deceptively calm he asked: “And you didn’t consider to discuss the matter with me?” His voice was rising in volume with the next question. “Don’t you think they were in the safe for a reason?” Gretchen took an involuntary step back. She wondered why Mike was so upset. His temper very rarely flared and he was a sweet, quiet man. Gathering herself together Gretchen replied: “No to your first question. You never wanted to talk about why you broke with your parents a few months after your grandmother’s death. Now I know. They were monsters. Poor Fin. No wonder he has turned out a bit weird. To your second question, yes, I think you didn’t want everyone to see what went on at your home.” Mike rubbed his face. He was speechless. “See, I wanted to help Fin…” Mike stopped what he was doing and was shouting again. “Help Fin? Are you crazy?!” “I… I thought Fin wouldn’t like to be accused of being a liar. If there was evidence, that clearly showed he was abused as a child, then he would be happy…” “Oh my God! You don’t understand Fin at all. He gave me the tapes. In that case Fin would prefer to be called a liar instead of strangers seeing what he had to go through. He’s going to kill us.” Mike was so angry with Gretchen he wanted to strangle her. Of course he didn’t do it and instead went to the bedroom to pack a few things. “What are you doing?” Gretchen, who had followed him, asked concerned. “I’m leaving, because I can’t trust you. Gretchen, you have Fin and I betrayed. I can’t live with you – I don’t know if it’s just for a while or permanent, but I can’t stay.” Gretchen didn’t try to hold back Mike. Outwardly she was strong, but in reality her heart was breaking. As soon as her husband was gone, Gretchen broke into tears.

Mike could have stayed with a friend, but he preferred to check into a hotel. He had to think and come to a clear decision. Lying on his bed he weighed up if he should keep quiet about it or inform his brother. Mike feared Fin would find out anyway. Fin had turned into a master burglar and counted as the best in his métier. He had an extensive network in the underworld, so Mike knew the grapevine was going to work. One example was that Fin had been aware of the investigation Steven Otto was conducting and had called Mike, asking him what he had done with the tapes and if he still had them not to give them to the private eye. At the time Mike hadn’t known Gretchen had shown own initiative, so he told Fin he had already spoken with Steven Otto and hadn’t handed over the tapes. It was better Fin heard the truth from Mike than from a different source. Mike thought Fin might really did consider to send an assassin and kill his own brother and sister in law. He hoped of course Fin would come to his senses, but he was sure Fin was going to be angry and upset. Mike’s brother was also very unforgiving. Mike hoped it wasn’t the end of their relationship. Theirs had always been a difficult one, because Mike was the preferred son and could get away with things Fin would have been punished for. Mike admitted he had been a brat. When he was under ten he frequently abused the situation, making sure he escaped a scolding or spanking, by claiming Fin had done the misdeed. Of course Fin was the one ending up with a sore rump. Mike could understand why Fin hated him as a child. When Mike got older he took in most cases the responsibility for what he did wrong. Fin slowly started to forgive and trust Mike. Now all their hard work was being undone by Gretchen. Mike was still very upset with his wife.               

Having come to the conclusion to tell Fin the truth didn’t make it easier. Mike picked up enough courage to call Fin the next afternoon.

Fin answered promptly. Fin sounded busy and as if he had been interrupted in a deep thought process. “Fin, it’s Mike. Ahem… I have…. Bad… Gretchen has… She gave the video… Mr. Otto has received them. I’m truly sorry. I didn’t know she would do that.” “What? Can you repeat?” Fin hadn’t caught on immediately what his brother tried to tell him. When he did he shouted: “I never ever want anything to do with you or your goddamn, self-righteous, interfering bitch!” The line went dead after Fin’s outburst. Mike shook. He feared the worst. His brother was normally very much in control and even when he was angry, he had never shouted at Mike or anyone else before. In fact Fin spoke very quiet when he was losing his temper, so it must have been really bad. Mike’s first instinct was to warn Gretchen and to run as far away as he possibly could. Being rational Mike realized no matter where he would go into hiding to, Fin or one of his friends would find and liquidate him. He decided to stay put.

Two days later someone knocked on Mike’s door. He opened cautiously, asked: “What are you doing here?! Aren’t you in Seattle?” Then Mike shut the door in Fin’s face. Fin knocked again. Mike leaned in shock against the door. He was surprised how quick Fin had found him and had a hard time not to faint with fear. Mike believed his last hour had arrived. Taking a few deep breath he was calm enough to face his brother. Keeping his face blank, Mike opened the door. When it was closed behind them Mike begged Fin to spare Gretchen and kill only him. Fin’s jaw dropped. He recovered and ordered Mike: “Sit down.” “No!” “I have no intention of blowing out your brains. Sit!” “I’m not your dog!” Mike protested. Fin replied exuberated: “Okay, stroppy cat, please sit down.” Mike laughed against his will and obeyed finally. It was a twin room, so Fin took a seat on the bed opposite Mike’s. “Thank you. I came to apologize in person. There is no excuse I lost my temper and I shouldn’t have called Gretchen names. You didn’t deserve my outburst, because you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry and I hope you can forgive me.” “So there is no professional killer trying to ambush us?” “No, why would there be? I love you and wouldn’t do anything to hurt you on purpose. Can you forgive me?” “Sure. I guess it was too much for you, and I can understand why you were very angry with Gretchen…” “Yeah, well, Gretchen and I talked. We are turning a new leaf.” Fin also suggested if Mike found it in his heart, he should forgive Gretchen as well and return home. Mike promised to have a think about it. In reality Mike didn’t have to. It was obvious he loved Gretchen. Her betrayal might still hurt, but he was sure he could start new, especially if his brother could, who was infamous for holding long grudges. Mike packed his things and went home.

Gretchen was more than relieved when Mike was back. She had missed him, apologized tearful and promised to do better in the future. Mike was sorry too. “If I had been open with you from the beginning this wouldn’t have happened, so I’m as much to blame as you. It’s just… I don’t like talking about it. It’s painful, because I loved my parents. The first crack appeared when I walked into a spanking Fin received and from then on it was clear Fin never pretended sitting hurt, when I suspected he simply wanted attention. I guessed there was more going on when I overheard a conversation between Fin, Mom and Dad a few years later. He mentioned some video tapes, which would be embarrassing for Mom and Dad if they were made public. Neither party wanted to admit anything like that existed. I searched for the tapes, but never found them. When Lil died it changed. Fin was treated abysmal by Mom and Dad and he wanted revenge, so he gave me the tapes, knowing exactly it would mean I would be disgusted and break with our parents. I hate them and for a while I hated Fin too, because he had lied to me and only because it fit his plan gave me copies. He claimed he hadn’t done so earlier, because he didn’t want to destroy the good relationship I had with Mom and Dad. I’m not sure if that really was his motive or if he had staked out his plan long before my grandmother died… It was the only time I’m aware of he’s been lying to me, though, and that’s the reason why I decided to give him another chance unlike Mom and Dad. It’s not normal to film a punishment, gloat about it on tape, discuss the reaction in detail and scheme for another spanking.” Gretchen agreed with Mike and was glad he finally told the truth. It took a while until all the wounds were healed, but it made Mike’s and Gretchen’s marriage stronger. 

©2015