Holiday Michael Noose was looking for the confirmation of
his suspicion. Mike, as Holiday Michael was nick named, had had an inkling
years earlier, when he witnessed a spanking his brother received.
The video tapes his older brother Fin had played into his
hands woke old memories and confirmed his believes.
On one of the tapes were some of Mike's spankings, on the
other Fin's. The one showing his own spanking after having run away from home
and being caught, reminded Mike of something. He decided to call Fin.
Mike's brother wasn't too happy about the disturbance and
even less willing to discuss the subject Mike had on his mind. Mike reminded
Fin he had to win back his trust after lying to him about the existence of the
tapes. Grumbling Fin gave in. "Okay, what's your question?"
"Remember, when I got spanked for running away when I was about ten?"
Fin sighed. "Yes, I do." "Do you also recall you teasing me
about getting a walloping?" Fin could remember it as if it had only
happened yesterday. The bile rose in his throat. "Mhm."
Their mother Beverly had caught Fin teasing and made
short process. She pulled down his shorts and underpants and grabbed one of his
arms, so he couldn't avoid the two hard smacks on his rear. Fin didn't make a
sound. Before pulling up Fin's clothing Beverly whispered into his ears.
"Your father and I will deal with your behavior appropriately, when he is
at home." Fin blushed furiously. He felt humiliated by being smacked in
front of Mike and he was afraid. Fin was wondering how much it was going to
hurt this time around. He hated that a "real" spanking was hanging
over his head like a Damocles sword. Of course his dad and name sake was going
to arrive shortly from work. Beverly sent the brothers out playing.
"I always thought the smacks were your punishment,
because it was similar to what I would have gotten for the same offence."
Mike said to Fin, bringing them both back to the present. His brother barked a
short, unhappy laugh. Fin knew Mike would have gotten off with a warning if
there would have been any repercussions, which he doubted. Mike continued:
"I guess I was wrong about that." Fin could have lied, but he was
generally honest and didn't look for the easiest way out. "No, you
aren't." "So what happened?" "Do you really have to
know?" Fin asked. "Yes. I'm curious." Fin tried to wriggle out -
it wasn't very pleasant to be reminded of the incident. Fin told Mike the short
version, but Mike said simply: "More details, please." With a sigh Fin
told his tale. "Well, I went outside with you, but didn't stray too far
from the house to keep an eye on when Dad arrived. I didn't want to get into
further trouble for not being available when I was called. Dad was home about
an hour later. I hovered near the front door. It took them around ten minutes
to deliberate my fate. I was shaking when they called me in and feeling sick.
Before entering the kitchen I had myself under control again. I didn't want to
show any fear. They reprimanded me for teasing you and said I deserved a whipping
for it. To my surprise they gave me a choice. I didn't like any of it. They
offered me five strokes with the cane fully clothed, four on my underpants or
three bare and also if I wanted to take my punishment bent over the kitchen
table or the arm rest of the sofa in the living room." "What did you
choose and why?" Fin sighed. He didn't feel like explaining. Another sigh
followed. Making up his mind Fin continued: "I chose three on the bare
bent over the sofa. I estimated the pain levels would be roughly the same, no
matter if I would get three, four or five cuts. I calculated Mom or Dad would
use stronger force the more I was wearing. On the other side there was the
embarrassment factor. The fewer clothing I had on the more embarrassing it was
going to be for me." Fin left out that he tried not to cry in front of his
parents. It seemed they were gloating and proud if he lost his composure. It
was another consideration to think about. Fin knew he could most likely manage
to keep his tears under control, if he was receiving three strokes. He
continued: "The decision was between three and four strokes. Weighing up
all things, I came to the conclusion three strokes were also going to be over
quicker. I hated bending over the kitchen table or chair. They digged painful
into my tummy and hips, so it was easier to take the sofa. It was fairly
comfortable and I could bury my face into a pillow stifling my screams."
Fin swallowed. "Mom and Dad sent me to the living room and ordered me to
prepare myself. I did what they asked and waited. It seemed to take them ages
to follow. I hated it, especially having to stay in position with my bared
behind upturned and my underwear and shorts bundled around my ankles. Finally
they arrived and suddenly it was too quick..." Fin stopped for a moment.
It was hard to go further, remembering the humiliation and pain. Mike didn't
notice and pressed Fin to continue. Fin hated Mike at that moment for his
ruthlessness and insensitivity. He was torn between hanging up and finishing
the story. After closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Fin had his
emotions under control and continued. "Dad told me he would give me two
strokes and Mom one. Dad pushed up my t-shirt, so it wasn't going to be in the
way. I heard the cane make a swishing sound. It connected with my rear and I
felt a sting; within seconds the pain turned into a burning sensation. I
winced. The cane changed hands and whistled again through the air. It hit me
straight in the center of my behind and hurt like the dickens. I screamed into
the pillow. My eyes filled with tears. The burning sensation of the first
stroke merged with the second. It got near unbearable. Dad was delivering the
last blow. It landed on my sit spots. I started to cry. The pain was too
overwhelming to keep my tears in check." Fin hadn't been proud of himself.
He felt like a coward and as if he had lost his dignity completely. When he
thought as an adult about it he realized he had been only a kid and it was a
normal reaction and alright to loose his composure at the time, even if Fin had
played in the hands of his parents. Fin felt he had been punished too harshly
for what he had done. Coldham put a hand on Fin's back, rubbing it softly. Fin
shied away. He didn't want to be comforted by someone who had just caused him
pain. It upset his father. Coldham didn't like being rebuffed. He stopped. When
Fin had a bit recovered, his parents allowed him to get up and dressed and sent
him to his room. Pulling up his clothing was painful too. The underpants
chafed, when they came in contact with Fin's stripes. Fin couldn't wait to get
rid of his pants and underwear. On his room he undressed quickly, took a cold
shower and cried. It wasn't so much about the physical pain. Fin felt unloved
and like Mike could never do any wrong. He was angry with his parents. Fin also
knew it hadn't been right to tease Mike, so they hadn't punished him completely
groundless, even though they had overdone it. It was easier to forgive them.
Fin ignored them until the next day, but was withdrawn for another few days.
Normally he was holding a much longer grudge and didn't talk to them for weeks.
"Satisfied?" Fin asked his brother after he had
concluded his story. "Nearly. How long did it hurt?" Fin had enough
of the questions and was tempted to give a rude reply. He was agitated by now
and struggling with his emotions. His problems weren't Mike's fault, though,
and Fin had promised Mike honesty, so he answered. "About a week."
"Wow!" Fin had to smile against his will. "You could say that.
It was one of the lighter wallopings." Mike didn't believe his ears.
"How long did it take you to recover from worse spankings?"
"Depending, but generally a week and a half to two weeks." "What
about sitting?" "For the one teasing you, I could sit tentavely the
next morning. With others I wasn't so lucky. It could take up to three
days." "I'm so sorry." "What for?" "What you had
to endure and that I wasn't very understanding most of the times. I thought you
were whining too much about nothing." "Well, we can't change the
past. You didn't know what was going on. You could only rely on your own
experience, which was fundamentally different than mine, and I don't blame you
for it." Mike knew about Fin's mixed feelings for him - the jealousy and
sometimes hatred for being the preferred son, but also that Fin loved him and
if Mike should ever need Fin, his brother would be there for him. Mike would do
the same for Fin.
Mike thought Fin had taken the physical aspect of the
beatings the hardest. He was mistaken. Fin still struggled with the emotional
side. Most of the time he was able to put it out of his mind and it didn't
bother him. If the feelings escaped the mental box where Fin kept them locked,
he struggled for a day or two until he had wrestled them back. It was no
different when Mike hung up. The talk had opened Fin's old wounds. If his
parents would have been there, he would have killed them. Sometimes he was
sorry he hadn't done so a few years earlier, when his father tried to beat him
up. A switch blade knife had stopped Coldham's fist right in mid air. The show
down ended with Fin leaving for good, and his parents escaped unharmed.
When he was clearer thinking Fin was glad he hadn't
killed them. They weren't worth it.
Fin gave up work for the day. His concentration had
deserted him. Fin knew his thoughts were going to switch back to the past - no
matter if he liked it or not. To get in a better mental state Fin meditated and
started Tai Chi. His jangled nerves calmed down. Fin took a relaxing bath afterwards.
He tried to keep his mind empty and concentrated on his breath, the smell,
temperature and feel of the water. The past managed to catch up with Fin, but
he was prepared and dealt with each memory and locked it away again. Finally
Fin felt more at peace. He was glad Frieda, his fiancée, was at college and he
had the chance to deal with his demons before she was back. To continue his
therapy Fin watched a comedy and ate a tub of Chunky Monkey ice cream alone.
Frieda wondered why Fin was more withdrawn than usual.
She let him be, though, and the next morning he was back to normal.
©2014
