Aftermath

My better half told me "Worse Timing" wasn't finished and he wanted to know more, so I promised to write a follow up.


Coldham Fintan Noose II didn't recognize his wife Beverly anymore. Her dark brown hair and blue eyes were lifeless. She was withdrawn and barely talked. Had Coldham known how hard Beverly was taking the abortion, he wouldn't have suggested it so non chalant. He was sure they would have coped somehow with a third child, even if it would have been only twenty two months younger than their oldest son. Coldham felt guilty. He still didn't care about the child. Two kids were more than enough. Coldham wanted to see his wife happy. Having left her without a real choice, he had caused the problems facing them. Coldham didn't know how to solve the issue.

Beverly felt like she had dropped into a big black hole and didn't know how to escape it. She didn't want to talk about it with Coldham, because she thought he wouldn't understand her. Everyday life was very hard. Getting up was tough - near to impossible. Even taking care of Mike, her youngest son, which she had previously loved to do, seemed too much. Beverly neglected the household chores and Fin, her eldest son. Coldham tried to at least give Fin some attention. Fin saw his father as an unsuitable replacement for his mother and tried to cling to her. He was rebuffed. It hurt and to get at least noticed by Beverly he was into a lot of mischief or cried a lot. His parents felt overwhelmed by Fin being so difficult. Mike, who was only eight months old, picked up the tensions and also cried very fast.

The situation became so unbearable that Coldham asked his mother in law Zelda, if she could come for a while and look after Fin and the household. She was a house wife, while her husband Solomon was a miner. They lived in Maryland. Zelda agreed. It had been hard for Coldham to ask for help. First he was very proud and didn't like to show any weakness, second he couldn't stand Zelda.

Zelda kept the household in top condition and spent a lot of time with nineteen months old Fin, reading fairy tales and other picture books to him, spoiling him with apple strudel and other sweet bakery goodies and teaching him a few German words.

She was worried about her daughter, but since nobody told her the reason of Beverly's depression, she assumed it was down to baby blues. Zelda had been weepy for a couple of weeks after Beverly's birth and could feel for her daughter. Unfortunately Zelda couldn't stay unlimited and had to return home. Beverly's depression hadn't improved. Very unhappy Coldham asked his own mother Lil to take over the household. He was at the end of his tethers and didn't know what to do anymore.
Lil engaged Beverly and tried to get her talking.


It was 09.09.1979 - the day the baby would have been due. Coldham had conveniently taken off for the weekend with friends, going on a fishing trip. He couldn't face the gloomy atmosphere and thought Beverly would be very upset. His wife had kept too much bottled up. She felt guilty, sad and hated her husband. She held him partly responsible for the abortion and thought he didn't care about her or what she was going through. Beverly had been staying in bed for most of the day and didn't want to be disturbed. Every noise, no matter if it was clattering in the kitchen, the flush of the toilet, Mike's screams or Fin's laughter, was unbearable and too loud. Beverly pulled Coldham's pillow over her ears, so she didn't have to hear.

Coldham didn't expect Beverly's outburst when he returned. It was late at night and he thought everyone was sleeping. Instead Coldham found Beverly in the kitchen, making tea. When Coldham's wife turned around to face him, he took an involuntary step back, when he saw her look. It was full of anger and hatred. Coldham was glad looks couldn't kill. "You bastard!" Beverly shouted at him, her face contorting with rage. She grabbed the next best thing within her reach. It was her mug. Thank goodness it was unfilled yet and Coldham managed to dodge it. The mug exploded into many splitters when it crashed against the wall. "Do you know what day today is? I bet you have no clue!" Coldham's eyes filled with tears - not because of the baby - because he hated to see his wife suffer. "Of course I know what day today is! You should be by now the size of a whale and on the way to give birth." Beverly was hurt by Coldham's comparison with a whale. She knew he didn't find her especially attractive, when she was pregnant. Indignant she pulled open one of the drawers and chose a spatula. Beverly was furious, shrieked like a banshee and attacked Coldham with the spatula, not caring where it landed or if it was painful. They struggled for a moment. It didn't take Coldham long to overwhelm Beverly and force her to drop the kitchen utensil. He pressed her hard against him. Coldham's mouths was just inches away from Beverly's mouth. He bent over and kissed her. At first Beverly fought hard against the kiss and the restrain, but soon gave up and replied in kind. Beverly and Coldham were tearing at their clothing and had rough sex on the floor. Afterwards they went up to their bedroom and fell asleep.
The next morning Beverly felt much better and saw for the first time for months light at the end of the tunnel. Beverly studied her husband. He was asleep and looked very young. He was only twenty six after all and one and a half months younger than herself. Beverly didn't know how long she watched over Coldham. He began to stir. Without pre-amble she said: "We have to talk." Coldham agreed. They spoke about their guilt and pain. The couple also agreed they didn't want more children, so they made sure they used always a form of contraception.
Having cleared the air built the stepping stone of Beverly's recovery and healing process for both. The crisis had made them stronger. They learned from it and were much more open with each other. A year after the abortion there were no signs of distrust or that Coldham's and Beverly's relationship had been on the rocks.


© 2014

Assumptions

Holiday Michael Noose was looking for the confirmation of his suspicion. Mike, as Holiday Michael was nick named, had had an inkling years earlier, when he witnessed a spanking his brother received.

The video tapes his older brother Fin had played into his hands woke old memories and confirmed his believes.

On one of the tapes were some of Mike's spankings, on the other Fin's. The one showing his own spanking after having run away from home and being caught, reminded Mike of something. He decided to call Fin.

Mike's brother wasn't too happy about the disturbance and even less willing to discuss the subject Mike had on his mind. Mike reminded Fin he had to win back his trust after lying to him about the existence of the tapes. Grumbling Fin gave in. "Okay, what's your question?" "Remember, when I got spanked for running away when I was about ten?" Fin sighed. "Yes, I do." "Do you also recall you teasing me about getting a walloping?" Fin could remember it as if it had only happened yesterday. The bile rose in his throat. "Mhm."

Their mother Beverly had caught Fin teasing and made short process. She pulled down his shorts and underpants and grabbed one of his arms, so he couldn't avoid the two hard smacks on his rear. Fin didn't make a sound. Before pulling up Fin's clothing Beverly whispered into his ears. "Your father and I will deal with your behavior appropriately, when he is at home." Fin blushed furiously. He felt humiliated by being smacked in front of Mike and he was afraid. Fin was wondering how much it was going to hurt this time around. He hated that a "real" spanking was hanging over his head like a Damocles sword. Of course his dad and name sake was going to arrive shortly from work. Beverly sent the brothers out playing.

"I always thought the smacks were your punishment, because it was similar to what I would have gotten for the same offence." Mike said to Fin, bringing them both back to the present. His brother barked a short, unhappy laugh. Fin knew Mike would have gotten off with a warning if there would have been any repercussions, which he doubted. Mike continued: "I guess I was wrong about that." Fin could have lied, but he was generally honest and didn't look for the easiest way out. "No, you aren't." "So what happened?" "Do you really have to know?" Fin asked. "Yes. I'm curious." Fin tried to wriggle out - it wasn't very pleasant to be reminded of the incident. Fin told Mike the short version, but Mike said simply: "More details, please." With a sigh Fin told his tale. "Well, I went outside with you, but didn't stray too far from the house to keep an eye on when Dad arrived. I didn't want to get into further trouble for not being available when I was called. Dad was home about an hour later. I hovered near the front door. It took them around ten minutes to deliberate my fate. I was shaking when they called me in and feeling sick. Before entering the kitchen I had myself under control again. I didn't want to show any fear. They reprimanded me for teasing you and said I deserved a whipping for it. To my surprise they gave me a choice. I didn't like any of it. They offered me five strokes with the cane fully clothed, four on my underpants or three bare and also if I wanted to take my punishment bent over the kitchen table or the arm rest of the sofa in the living room." "What did you choose and why?" Fin sighed. He didn't feel like explaining. Another sigh followed. Making up his mind Fin continued: "I chose three on the bare bent over the sofa. I estimated the pain levels would be roughly the same, no matter if I would get three, four or five cuts. I calculated Mom or Dad would use stronger force the more I was wearing. On the other side there was the embarrassment factor. The fewer clothing I had on the more embarrassing it was going to be for me." Fin left out that he tried not to cry in front of his parents. It seemed they were gloating and proud if he lost his composure. It was another consideration to think about. Fin knew he could most likely manage to keep his tears under control, if he was receiving three strokes. He continued: "The decision was between three and four strokes. Weighing up all things, I came to the conclusion three strokes were also going to be over quicker. I hated bending over the kitchen table or chair. They digged painful into my tummy and hips, so it was easier to take the sofa. It was fairly comfortable and I could bury my face into a pillow stifling my screams." Fin swallowed. "Mom and Dad sent me to the living room and ordered me to prepare myself. I did what they asked and waited. It seemed to take them ages to follow. I hated it, especially having to stay in position with my bared behind upturned and my underwear and shorts bundled around my ankles. Finally they arrived and suddenly it was too quick..." Fin stopped for a moment. It was hard to go further, remembering the humiliation and pain. Mike didn't notice and pressed Fin to continue. Fin hated Mike at that moment for his ruthlessness and insensitivity. He was torn between hanging up and finishing the story. After closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Fin had his emotions under control and continued. "Dad told me he would give me two strokes and Mom one. Dad pushed up my t-shirt, so it wasn't going to be in the way. I heard the cane make a swishing sound. It connected with my rear and I felt a sting; within seconds the pain turned into a burning sensation. I winced. The cane changed hands and whistled again through the air. It hit me straight in the center of my behind and hurt like the dickens. I screamed into the pillow. My eyes filled with tears. The burning sensation of the first stroke merged with the second. It got near unbearable. Dad was delivering the last blow. It landed on my sit spots. I started to cry. The pain was too overwhelming to keep my tears in check." Fin hadn't been proud of himself. He felt like a coward and as if he had lost his dignity completely. When he thought as an adult about it he realized he had been only a kid and it was a normal reaction and alright to loose his composure at the time, even if Fin had played in the hands of his parents. Fin felt he had been punished too harshly for what he had done. Coldham put a hand on Fin's back, rubbing it softly. Fin shied away. He didn't want to be comforted by someone who had just caused him pain. It upset his father. Coldham didn't like being rebuffed. He stopped. When Fin had a bit recovered, his parents allowed him to get up and dressed and sent him to his room. Pulling up his clothing was painful too. The underpants chafed, when they came in contact with Fin's stripes. Fin couldn't wait to get rid of his pants and underwear. On his room he undressed quickly, took a cold shower and cried. It wasn't so much about the physical pain. Fin felt unloved and like Mike could never do any wrong. He was angry with his parents. Fin also knew it hadn't been right to tease Mike, so they hadn't punished him completely groundless, even though they had overdone it. It was easier to forgive them. Fin ignored them until the next day, but was withdrawn for another few days. Normally he was holding a much longer grudge and didn't talk to them for weeks.

"Satisfied?" Fin asked his brother after he had concluded his story. "Nearly. How long did it hurt?" Fin had enough of the questions and was tempted to give a rude reply. He was agitated by now and struggling with his emotions. His problems weren't Mike's fault, though, and Fin had promised Mike honesty, so he answered. "About a week." "Wow!" Fin had to smile against his will. "You could say that. It was one of the lighter wallopings." Mike didn't believe his ears. "How long did it take you to recover from worse spankings?" "Depending, but generally a week and a half to two weeks." "What about sitting?" "For the one teasing you, I could sit tentavely the next morning. With others I wasn't so lucky. It could take up to three days." "I'm so sorry." "What for?" "What you had to endure and that I wasn't very understanding most of the times. I thought you were whining too much about nothing." "Well, we can't change the past. You didn't know what was going on. You could only rely on your own experience, which was fundamentally different than mine, and I don't blame you for it." Mike knew about Fin's mixed feelings for him - the jealousy and sometimes hatred for being the preferred son, but also that Fin loved him and if Mike should ever need Fin, his brother would be there for him. Mike would do the same for Fin.

Mike thought Fin had taken the physical aspect of the beatings the hardest. He was mistaken. Fin still struggled with the emotional side. Most of the time he was able to put it out of his mind and it didn't bother him. If the feelings escaped the mental box where Fin kept them locked, he struggled for a day or two until he had wrestled them back. It was no different when Mike hung up. The talk had opened Fin's old wounds. If his parents would have been there, he would have killed them. Sometimes he was sorry he hadn't done so a few years earlier, when his father tried to beat him up. A switch blade knife had stopped Coldham's fist right in mid air. The show down ended with Fin leaving for good, and his parents escaped unharmed.

When he was clearer thinking Fin was glad he hadn't killed them. They weren't worth it.

Fin gave up work for the day. His concentration had deserted him. Fin knew his thoughts were going to switch back to the past - no matter if he liked it or not. To get in a better mental state Fin meditated and started Tai Chi. His jangled nerves calmed down. Fin took a relaxing bath afterwards. He tried to keep his mind empty and concentrated on his breath, the smell, temperature and feel of the water. The past managed to catch up with Fin, but he was prepared and dealt with each memory and locked it away again. Finally Fin felt more at peace. He was glad Frieda, his fiancée, was at college and he had the chance to deal with his demons before she was back. To continue his therapy Fin watched a comedy and ate a tub of Chunky Monkey ice cream alone.

Frieda wondered why Fin was more withdrawn than usual. She let him be, though, and the next morning he was back to normal.

©2014

Smoking

This another quite cruel story, so if you are against spanking children, please don't read. As always I'm totally against violence in real life.

Coldham Fintan Noose III was glad his parents had allowed him to go to a party. He was fifteen, a bit gawky, blond haired and had blue grey eyes. He was happy to escape their scrutiny for a while.

Fin didn't want to get into trouble, so he kept to all the rules his parents had set. He didn't drink any alcohol and didn't smoke. He was punctual at home too. Smoking had never interested Fin. He was a sports fanatic and an unhealthy habit would have only decreased his fitness level.

He went to the living room, where his parents were watching a movie to let them know he was back. Fin's mother Beverly followed Fin to the kitchen. Originally she wanted to hear about the party. When she smelled cigarette smoke on him, she was very unhappy. Her husband and she had made it very clear smoking was unacceptable. "Coldham Fintan, have you been smoking?" Fin, as the boy was nicknamed, looked shocked. His eyes widened. "No, I haven't!" "Don't lie to me!" Beverly replied harsh. Fin was the black sheep of the family, having been caught steeling only recently, and he disobeyed his parents' orders in general. "Let me explain, please." Fin said, trying to stay calm. He was panicking, because his parents were hands on, when it came to discipline. "Admit it." "No, as you know the parents of Patches are smoking and a few of the guests did too, so it's only second hand smoke you are smelling. I swear!" Beverly didn't believe Fin. He had lied before. "Go to your room. Your father and I will deal with you later." "Please speak to Mr. or Mrs. Sigrist. They will tell you I haven't touched a cigarette." "Don't make it worse. Go to your room!" Fin was angry. He hadn't done anything wrong and still got the wrath of his mother.

Fin changed into his pajamas feeling sick already. He bet he would get spanked either the same evening or the next morning. Fin couldn't shake off the feeling his parents were simply looking for an excuse to punish him. It made him even angrier. He hated his parents.

An hour later Fin's father Coldham asked Fin to come down to the kitchen. Fin was briefly lectured by his parents. He couldn't keep his mouth shut and protested, knowing exactly he would pay for it later. The reason was Fin's sense of fairness. He couldn't accept being punished for something he hadn't done. "Coldham Fintan, it is unbelievable you still lie to us. You are going to make your caning worse, if you don't admit it." Coldham said. Fin replied heated: "I can't admit to a crime I haven't committed." "Okay, that solves that. You are going to get two strokes for smoking and two for lying." Beverly concluded icy. "Before you bend over the table, drop your pants. Liars don't deserve any type of protection." Coldham added. Fin's eyes turned a steely blue. He had resolved not to comply. Only the threat of getting another four strokes for disobeying and being obnoxious made him do it. Fin knew eight strokes with the cane would test his self control to the limit and he didn't want to break down in front of his parents, so half were the lesser evil and the likelihood he was shedding tears immediately low.
With a sigh Fin complied. The cane was already resting on the table. It was about three foot long and 3/8 in thick. When Coldham picked it up, Fin knew his father was going to whip him. His mother flipped up Fin's shirt, so it wasn't in the way. Coldham took up his position. Fin braced himself. He raised his head, when Beverly walked up to face him directly. At the same time the cane swished through the air. Fin was caught by surprise since he had been concentrating on his mother. He yelped, when the cane connected with his bottom. The pain was searing. Beverly smiled. The smirk infuriated Fin. He swore when he was strong enough he would put a stop to all this. For the time being he had to endure it. The next cut seemed to hurt much more than the previous. Being prepared Fin didn't make a sound. He stared at the table and ignored his mother. Coldham let a few seconds pass before he placed the third stroke at the center of Fin's buttocks. The pain of all three merged. Fin hissed. It started to get unbearable. Fin forced himself to stay put. He would have preferred to shake his hips to try and get rid of part of the sting. Fin dreaded the last stroke. Knowing his father, he was sure he would get hit on an especially sensitive spot. The cane whistled again through the air and connected with the crease between Fin's legs and behind. The sting was incredible and left another angry red welt. As hard as Fin tried to take it quiet he let out a scream. Fin's eyes welled up. Coldham wanted to make sure the last cut counted for something. It had. Fin struggled with his composure and would have loved nothing better than crying freely and to clutch his throbbing behind. Since he didn't want to give his parents that satisfaction he kept the tears at bay and in position. He was till bent over when his mother said: "Look me in the eyes!" Fin barely managed to keep the hatred hidden. "I hope we have made it very clear for you smoking is off the limits." Fin didn't answer. He just stared at her, imagining what it would be like to put his hands around his mother's throat and throttle her. It calmed his feelings immediately. Fin managed to give a satisfactory answer, but still said he had been punished groundless. His parents didn't like it. Fin couldn't see what was going on behind him. He saw his mother, though, communicating silently with his father before nodding. The cane hit Fin for a fifth time. He was unprepared and shouted out loud. Tears threatened to spill over. Beverly bent down to Fin. Her face was very close to Fin's, asking very quietly: "Are you still denying it?" Rage cursed through Fin's veins. He was tempted to spit his mother in the face. Since Fin's emotions were overshadowing the pain in his backside, he forgot about bursting into tears. Holding barely on to his self restrained, Fin replied very cold: "You can cane me as much as you like. I'm telling you the truth. I didn't smoke." Mother's and son's eyes locked. Fin wasn't willing to give in and stared until his mother looked away. The room was silent for a while. Finally Coldham said: "Get up and out of our eyesight!  Don't leave your room until tomorrow. You are grounded until you come to your senses." Fin winced, when he pulled his pants over his swollen and smarting behind. He left without saying a word.

Fin made up his mind. He was going to hold out longer than them. They would after a certain time loosen their control and he was free to go as he pleased.
On his room Fin undressed. He was frustrated, angry and hurt. He felt as if he could murder his parents. Of course he didn't react on it. Taking a cold shower eased the physical pain a bit. When Fin checked in the mirror he knew he was going to have bruises beside the five raised welts. Sitting was going to hurt for at least a week.
Letting go, Fin sobbed for a few minutes before he went naked to bed, trying to sleep on his stomach. It took Fin a while to fall asleep. He woke up a few times thanks to being in pain.

Fin's mood was not the best when he got up the next morning and went down for breakfast. He wasn't able to sit and ignored his parents. He was very good in giving them the silent treatment. Coldham and Beverly were used to being ignored, sometimes for weeks, after they had punished Fin.
Fin's temper nearly reached boiling point, when his brother Mike told him he shouldn't behave like a baby. Mike had heard Fin's screams and knew he had been spanked. Mike thought Fin's spankings were similar to his - bent over the knee of either parent and getting a hand spanking on the bare. It hurt maybe for a few hours, but no real damage was done. - so he thought Fin's reaction was over the top by refusing to sit down and claiming he was still sore. Fin's eyes turned into blue daggers, when he heard Mike's offhand remark. He knew he would find himself at the receiving end of the cane again, if he punched Mike, so he said mildly: "Please don't comment on something you don't have a clue about or experienced yourself." Fin didn't want to discuss his caning or show the marks. It was embarrassing enough Mike knew he had been punished. Fin couldn't bear spending more than a few seconds with the rest of the family, so he grabbed his cheese sandwiches and glass of milk and fled to his room.
Fin felt like an outsider and was sure his parents didn't love him. It hurt more than the physical pain.
Fin and Mike made up fairly quickly. Fin still didn't talk to his parents even after the bruises and tram lines were gone. He hated them and the feeling didn't diminish over a long period. He was glad when he could go to the military academy his parents had decided to send him to after they caught him stealing.

©2013